In the strait between Denmark and Sweden, there is a little island called Hven. Niels, Nikoline and me went on a 3 day camping trip from tuesday to thursday.

The experience was very different than I expected. First of all, I did not seem to be able to shake off peoples eyes, when they looked at us. Two men, camping on a small secluded island with a 5 year old girl - I bet everyone thought we were a gay couple. When we arrived on the camping site, we set up our tents, and discovered that the tent right next to Niels’ tent, belonged to a lesbian couple. This did definately not help the situation. This lesbian couple were camping with their 2 year old son, and one of them was pregnant. Wherever I went, I could sense the judgement of other people, and I tried to do as few “gay things” as possible. I do not think I succeeded, but hey … what do I really care.

The trip was OK and very relaxing. On the first day we just had a little ride on our bikes and looked at some of the locations around the island. Niels and me played some frisbee and after a long day of cycling and playing, Nikoline had a very hard time falling to sleep. After quite some time she did, and Niels and me played some more frisbee before falling to sleep. I soon discovered that I had outgrown my tent and sleepingbag. I had to lie diagonally in the tent to fit in there and the sleepingbag was just too small to be comfortable in. Suddenly I felt the discomfort of camping life, and do not really understand why lots of people are drawn to it. After a while I realise that we all need it sometime. It is a bit back to basics and I believe that everyone should visit that “place” sometime. We are all so busy trying to achieve material, professional and/or social trophys, and we are all so accustomed of all kind of helping aids for everything, that most of mankind have no idea how to actually survive on the planet called earth.

If we do not have electric power, WC and running water I believe that we would grow extinct within a few weeks. Some would probably argue “why should we go through all the discomfort of our ancestors and do the same things living off nature, when we can take advantage of science and progress?” and I could agree with this - to a certain degree. But we cannot come across that most people living in larger cities have no clue what to do out in the “wild” nature if disaster strikes. Luckily I come from Norway and grew up close to nature, but I must say that my nature-interaction skills, have deteriorated wildly. People who were born in the city and have lived most of their life in the city are hopeless to watch out in nature.

I would bet you, that if birds and animals were watching us or even studying us in an anthropological study, they would categorise human kind into two large groups: Homo Sapiens and Homo Absurdum. Lets face it - we are the only race on the face of this earth with no natural defense system (apart from the skins ability to darken when exposed to the sun, as a defense against ultraviolet solar radiation?). We have our mind, at least some of us, but we cannot change color like the Chameleon, we cannot run fast and jump up and down like an Impala, spray poison on enemies like a Cobra or play dead as a Virginia Opossum. Let’s face it - we ARE the weakest link, and looking at all the weak human beeings on a camping site is somewhat trivial. Hopefully, the internet and related services are so heavily developed within a few years, so whenever we are facing danger, we can just lookup rescue tips or “how to’s” on the fly. Imagine facing a raging hippo in an African swamp (they can be very aggressive towards Homo Absurdum trespassing their territory). Imagine a lookup service, which you can reach by the click of a button on some sort of device, that tells you what you need to do if this situation occurs. The answer could be “run like hell”, “give up. You are f*cked” or “do the Crocodile Dundee hand-trick and it will fall asleep”. Answers that probably won’t save your life, but at least you know that you are f*cked. I always believe it is better to know that the end is near, than walking about spending energy on thinking “is this a bad situation”. I would say: ban all sitcoms and all the news on television and bring on Discovery Channel, National Geographic Channel, Animal Planet and similar channels. They will not tell you what happens in the conflict between Israel and Palestine but it will give insight to nature and this knowledge can prove valuable when the world is coming to an end (or if you are camping somewhere …). I would personally be very pissed off, if I found myself in a life threatening situation in Asia, for instance facing a Bengal Tiger in the rainforest of India, and I knew everything about George W. Bush’ latest invasion of some innocent country. I would rather ask myself “what would Steve Irwin do in a situation like this?” than “what sould George W. Bush do in a situation like this?” (he would probably call for US Marine to nuke the bastard, but not all of us have their phone number).

The pros of camping are:

• You get in touch with nature
• Your body learns to control temperature better
• Food does not have to cost anything (you can steal from neighbours when they are sleeping or catch it with an “animal catcher device”)
• You get a good tan (for the vain ones)
• There are no billboards and advertising in nature (I’m so fed up with all the “natural” stuff they put in L’oreal shampoos … out in nature, everything IS natural, so why not use it)
• It is quiet (Mmmmmm)
• You are forced to interact with other people to find your way, to figure out if they have proper food to steal, to have fun with or to ensure that human kind does not end up like lone beeings (we are, after all, social beeings)
• Much, much more …

The cons of camping are:

• It can be uncomfortable (wet clothes and hard surface to sleep on)
• It is easy to stumble over lines from the tents at night (we are not nocturnal, but we might influence evolution by forcing us to live in the dark?)
• There are bugs everywhere
• Internet is nowhere in nature, so online gambling can not be a spare time activity and when facing danger, it is hard to find tips and how to’s
• You cannot pop into 7-11 when hungry for candy or snacks (unless they setup a shop in the middle of nowhere, and this particular “middle of nowhere” is exactly the same “middle of nowhere” as you currently reside in? But would it be proper camping when commercial shops are around - and could the clerk at 7-11 tell you how to kill an angry Tiger?)
• Many more things …

I do not particularly like camping, and I have done a lot of it in my life, but I would state: for the sake of the future of human kind, you should all stop worrying about how David Beckhams hairdo affects world economy, how much money the latest high tech Hollywood movie make on opening day, how to get those killer abs or if stripy shirt matches a fishbone patterned suit, and start doing stuff that really matters: get back to basics.